M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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