so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
