So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
