just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
