We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize