just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
