I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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