I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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