My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
