so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
