i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
