did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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