brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You are the jesus of drinking
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
