Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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