I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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