They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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