I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
