you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
ok first of all what the fuck
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
