I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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