adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
