O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
