mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
