as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
