i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
My ATM looks so different sober.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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