how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
