hell yes lets make some ravioli
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
