I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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