So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
