We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
