I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
