so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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