Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
