when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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