The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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