he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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