I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
