yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
