that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
