Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My feet surprised me
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
