On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He did a backflip because drugs
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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