no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
