When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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