I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
