Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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