The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
