i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
