eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
