we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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