He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
