That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
