It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize
